I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
