So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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