My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
