That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
