Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize