I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
