i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
