Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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