I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
