She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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