Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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