lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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