You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
