Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize