Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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