I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
