she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
