if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
