Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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