I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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