I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
