i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize