The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm like, not good at living.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize