So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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