Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize