I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
