She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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