So drunk its hurt
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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