it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize