I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He kissed a someone with a penis
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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