i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
