fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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