We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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