well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
