I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
