I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
