It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
