I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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