was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
