The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
