I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
