mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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