Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize