Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
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My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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