I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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