So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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