I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
