I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
