Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so let's talk penis.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
