would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The ass gains better be worth it
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