If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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