Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
