Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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