google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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