like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize