it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
