Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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